Questioning the Realities Of life

Call me a hypocrite. Call me a liar. Call me an asshole, a liar, a piece of shit. In fact, call me whatever you want. Because i know partly i am writing this to make myself feel better, and after this post im probably going to revert back to my old ways again, and so will those who either by chance stumble across this blog, or somehow i don't know with what magical method reads this post.

People often say - "You won't treasure what you have till its gone". Well its true i and i guess everyone at one point of another in their life will experience that. But the thing is, how do you treasure someone or something? Is it to dedicate more of your life to it? If thats true, then the countless items or people that we treasure, will not be treasured at all. If 24 hours were to be equally divided to take a moment to treasure what we love, then we might as well be selfish and prioritise one thing over another.

The controversy is this, when you do that. Wouldn't then you be neglecting the less focused? And then we feel bad, then the "oh i feel bad about this and about that" comes about. BUT WHAT FOR? If you have made the decision to push that thing aside then you might as well stick with it right, don't try to save your face after what you've done, rather my advice is save it before.

I know that after those long paragraphs ill probably revert back to not cherishing what i have. But i don't give a shit anyway.

Anyway, if given the choice to die in my sleep tonight, I certainly would. I would rather be in heaven where God makes everything beautiful, no hate, no revenge, no anger, no pain and no BOREDOM. Well those on earth will probably cry, those who know me more will cry more, but eventually someone will say, " you know he's dead, so get a move on". Then they'll cry even harder and probably for the next few days, where they like to say "Oh everything's so different without him..blah blah". I probably would too actually.( refer to the first line please.) So in the end what you cherish goes away doesn't it?

Lastly, the issue on actions VS words. I guess its true that all the subtle things people take heed the most. Its in times of loneliness where you are who you really are. Some people say that oh what i saw him shine during that period nad therefore he deserves this blah blah. SO what? well the person could be just putting on a false act to deceive you. Are these true actions? And sometimes i do things for other without thinking, i honestly do. And when i hear oh what you're so nice and stuff to do that, it sorta makes me want to do it again just for the sake of portraying a nice image, and thus it isnt as sincere anymore. So should we compliment others at every go? I guess in the end its when you do what you say that counts, it makes the other person trust you more. So i vote action wins, empty words don't count.

So thanks for reading through that boring shit above. How do you cherish i do not know. But one thing I feel is, if the way that a person wants to be stays consistent, then the receiving party will surely know that he/she/it is being cherished.